Wu-Men

I am now sufficiently confused. I was looking forward to learning about Buddhism, but I'm having a hard time following these readings. Then, just as I think I'm getting part of it, the author changes direction completely and I'm lost again.

"Mu" is a barrier set up by ancestral teachers? A gateless barrier of the zen tradition? Is this a word with special significance, and if so, why? Or is it just a simple word for focus? And when one passes through it they will interview Chai-chou intimately, walk hand in hand with all the ancestral teachers in the successive generations of that lineage? So much of the Buddhist readings seem to be about getting rid of self and emptying the mind in order to be ready for something new. But if there is no self and the mind is empty, how does one interview Chai-chou? Wouldn't self and a paying attention to your thoughts be the source of questions for an interview?

I did find a section of the text interesting..."the hair of eyebrows entangling with the ancestral teachers, seeing with the same eyes, hearing with the same ears." I am interested in history and learning, so that caught my attention. There are people whose eyes and ears I'd like to share for a while.

I saw wisdom in the author's words, "Gradually you purify yourself, eliminating mistaken knowledge and attitudes you have held from the past." I think it is a good idea to get rid of wrong understandings, false assumptions, and things that hold us back from the wholeness we can experience.

Then the confusion sets in again. "When you meet the Buddha, you kill the Buddha. When you meet Bodhidharma, you kill Bodhidharma. At the very cliff edge of birth-and-death you find the great freedom...frolic and play." What the heck is he talking about? Killing the Buddha or anyone else doesn't sound peaceful and I sure wouldn't play and frolic after killing anyone, so is it figurative suggesting that one would realize there is no single 'awakened one' but rather there are many, so get rid of the misconception there is only one main 'buddha'?

I was really hoping to gain some interesting and cool insights from the Buddhism readings...so far it isn't what I was hoping for. I'll look over it again tomorrow and give it some more thought though...maybe I'll get it then.